September 22, 2025 – Happy Fall. I love Spring and I love Fall. The weather is cooler. I spoke with my Oncologist about a week or so ago. She said my next scan should be in February. However, I asked her if we could wait until April to do it. My 5-year anniversary of my last chemo treatment will be 4/6/26. She said yes. Of course, if I have any symptoms between now and then I will be brought in sooner. I decided to start attending church in person. I am Catholic and when we normally do “Peace be with you” we shake hands. My first time in a Catholic church since Covid and they do not shake hands anymore at my church. They nod and smile. It felt weird but I understand why. I also decided to sign up to be a Catechism teacher. I asked the Sister at our church if they needed me and she said I answered her calling because they really did. Turns out one of the catechists had her baby early so I will be taking her place. I haven’t taught a Catechism class since 2013 or 2014. I am excited. I just hope I don’t get sick. That was one of my main reasons for not doing it because young kids usually spread all their illness around. I am hoping my immune system will be strong enough and I don’t spend the school year sick. My class is going to be mainly composed of children that are ages 7–9 and will be one night a week. I also took a week off from work last month and spent it at our timeshare in Genoa, Nevada. It was nice to get away and relax. Other than that, I have just been working. I am meditating again and thankful that I am because it really does help with my mindset.
August 6, 2025 – This year is going by fast. My last scan was on 7/1/2025. I am still NED. I should not have to scan again until January. If I have any symptoms, they will bring me in sooner for a scan. My sciatica is flaring up on both sides! It is frustrating and hard to sleep. I can’t wait for this flare up to pass. I am trying to get out more and attend more things instead of hiding out at home. I am tired and my body aches. I have one more week before I go out on vacation. I really need one. I just need to rest! Our grandson, Odis Darius was born on 7/12. He is so tiny. I can’t wait to see what his personality will be like. I can’t wait to see he and Daisy playing together. We celebrated my husband’s 50th birthday last month and got to see a lot of family members we hadn’t seen in years. It was a small mini reunion for his mom’s side. I am glad my kids got to see that side of the family. A friend of mine turned 50 and I went to her party. I got to see some of my old coworkers. We danced and had fun. When I am brave enough to dance in front of people, it is a bid deal to me. I can last a lot longer on the dance floor now that I am off chemo. It is good to be around people you feel comfortable with and enjoying time together. Most of the time, I am by myself because it is just easier. My mood is not the best. I am trying. Some days are just harder than others.
April 15, 2025 – Happy 2025!!! I don’t have much to update about. I started the year off with some pretty bad back pain. I couldn’t walk, sit, sneeze, or cough without having nerve pain. Originally, I didn’t want to call my doctor because I was hoping it would go away on its own. I hate that whenever something is wrong with me that I worry it could be cancer. I waited three weeks and then called the Advice line. I asked if I could have pulled a muscle and how long would it take to heal. They reviewed my chart over the phone, said I was high risk and that I needed to be seen. I came in and did a CT scan without contrast and only of the spine. They didn’t see any mass. This was done through my primary doctor. I then reached out to my oncologist and asked if they thought this could be cancer. Three weeks go by, and I finally got a response that I needed to have a CT with contrast to make sure. I went in and did another CT. This was in February. That came back clear. My next scan will now be six months from the last scan. Therefore, I should scan again in August, unless I have symptoms before then. I reached my four-year anniversary of stopping chemo on April 9th!!! I am so happy. The countdown to April 9, 2026, now begins. Once I pass that date, I will get my remission status. My original Oncologist is back from Leave, and she told me that my highest risk of reoccurrence was the first three years after I stopped chemo. Now that I have passed those three years, my chances of reoccurrence have gone down. She said my chances of reoccurrence will go down even more once I pass five years. The back pain I experienced was a real wake up call. I had to wear a back brace to work and all day just to minimize the movement of my back. It helped. I had my Tens unit out, was taking Epsom salt baths, and got a massage. My back was having spasms, and it made driving scary. I am thankful that is over. As I said, it was a wakeup call that I need to take better care of myself. I have always been against Yoga and preferred using weights. I started Yoga last week and so far, my back pain is gone. I am trying to create a new habit of getting up in the morning and doing a Yoga video before work. I even ride my recumbent bike for 15 minutes and then I walk with hand weights at work for 15 minutes. Baby steps. 🙂 I am cooking dinner on most days and brining my lunch to work. All these changes make me feel better about myself. My husband always says, “it takes 21 days to create a habit”. We shall see if I can make this a new morning habit for myself. I sure hope so. I have a grandson on the way, and I can’t wait to see his face. Life is good and I feel blessed. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments, but I don’t allow myself to dwell on stuff. I can’t afford to. I pray, give it God, and carry on. I make sure that each day I take moments to ground myself and feel present. I counsel friends and family members of patients with cancer. When I say counsel, I mean, I share my story and relay any helpful information that could help their loved ones. I truly wish I had more and better answers. For now, I listen, share, and pray.
December 15, 2024 – I scanned June 3, 2024, and again on December 2, 2024. Both scans were clear. See below for my birthday and Christmas gift to myself. My therapist and some of my friends nicknamed me 5%er before I even passed 5 years. In 2018 online statistics said there was only a 5% chance of survival for my type of cancer beyond 5 years. Now I have another hurdle to pass. My Oncologist told me this week that since I am coming up on 4 years without chemo, there is a high chance I will have a reoccurrence in the next year. That makes me extremely nervous. This just means my fight is not over. They told me that it is not common for cancer to remain dormant for more than 5 years. They talk as if the cancer is still inside of me. Yet the tumor was gone when I had an Endoscopy in 9/2022 and another in 2/2023. I even had a colonoscopy in 4/2023 and have had two endometrial biopsies. No cancer. They still believe it is possibly lying dormant. If I can go 5 years without chemo, I believe the chance of reoccurrence becomes less likely. I’m praying they are wrong and will continue to fight! April 9, 2026, is my target date. I need to make it to that date without any reoccurrence!!!
April 9, 2024 – Well, happy 2024!!! I wish I had posted sooner. The end of year and beginning of the year are always busy at work. Things are finally settling down a bit. I had some pains in my shoulder and chest area around the end of January. As a result, I had my CT scan done in early February. Everything looked good. I have 3 bulging discs in my neck, and they cause shoulder and upper back pain. It is hard for me to sort out if it is my back or my tumor growing back. The pains that drove me to be diagnosed are similar. It can be frustrating. That has led to me trying to do better with doing my physical therapy exercises. As long as I do those a few times a week I do not experience the back and chest pain as much. I want to minimize as much pain as I can in my body. I wasn’t supposed to scan until April. Since I scanned in February I will not scan again until June. Today is April 9th and today makes 3 years without any chemo treatment! I am still thanking God every day. I am nervous because I stopped the COC protocol at the beginning of February. I have also temporarily stopped Joe Tippen’s protocol. I am now a patient of Howlett Integrative Cancer Care. Mrs. Howlett runs the company, and she was the nurse practitioner that worked with me from 2018 – 2021 with the COC and Joe’s protocol. She helped me understand that my chemo was an oxidant chemo and educated me on antioxidants and how not to take too many during chemo so that they would not make my chemo ineffective. I made a big decision to work with her instead of the COC this year. The COC US division is having too many negative complaints. Ever since Dr. Meakin left the COC in 2021 it has not been the same for me and I have had my own complaints. Last year I read other patients’ complaints online. Once I realized the issue was bigger than me and since there had been no change for the better since 2021, I made the difficult decision to no longer continue on with them as a patient. It is sad. I spoke highly of them to others. I do hope they turn things around. Dr. Meakin went out on his own so I will post a link for his website on my Links tab. You can get to it by clicking on Menu. Besides these changes, I have just been working and spending time with family and friends. My husband and I just celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary. We have technically been together for 28 years. We went to Las Vegas and celebrated our anniversary with my best friend Nancy and her husband Shane. It was also Nancy’s parents 50th wedding anniversary and they flew in from Mexico. We got to celebrate and spend time with them as well. I finally went zip lining. It was fun. However, it was nothing compared to skydiving. My goal for this year is to continue to work with Mrs. Howlett and successfully get my gut issues under control. I have to admit that since I stopped the COC medications, I do not experience the nausea on and off throughout the day. That was driving me crazy and had pretty much become a part of my normal day. I just never knew when they would hit me. I still get nauseous, just not every day. The sharp pains from my neuropathy are still shooting through my body. Especially my toes. It shocks me when they happen at work because I am used to it happening at night. That pain goes through my entire body when it hits. A few times I was talking to a coworker and a piercing pain would hit one of my toes. It definitely catches me off guard when I am at work. I am so grateful they do not last more than a few minutes. I would like to say 2024 has been a good year so far. It has really. However, we lost a close friend in February. It was unexpected and have made this year carry a shadow. You never know when it will be the last time you will speak to someone. This man was like a brother to my husband. He was like an uncle to my kids. His wife is still dealing with this. I just can’t imagine her pain. I wish so much that I could turn back the clock and change what happened. All I can do is accept it. When someone is sick and dying, you are aware that your time is limited with them. Therefore, you try your hardest to enjoy every second you get with them. Losing my uncle last year without warning and now one of our dear friends really hit hard. There were no opportunities to relish each second with them. You wake up one day and they are just gone. It is a different kind of pain for me. I am used to most people around me being sick and having those last cherishing moments. I am not used to sudden unexpectant deaths. At the end of the day, a loss is a loss, and we feel the pain of that loss.
November 8, 2023 – I didn’t realize I hadn’t updated about my CT results. I did speak with my Oncologist the following week and she told me my scan was perfect. I was so relieved. She asked me how I planned to celebrate, and I said spending time making memories with family and friends. Unfortunately, I caught Covid and had to be off work for close to two weeks. Covid kicked my butt this time around. It was mainly the fever, nausea, and the fatigue that drove me insane. I didn’t have an appetite. The lack of appetite and eating created severe nausea which landed me in the ER. I have to say that was one of my better ER experiences. I normally dread going to the ER, but this time I was so miserable I knew I had to. They took good care of me and fast. Thankfully the fever was only for a day and didn’t go above 101. The fatigue however, lasted me the entire two weeks. I barely had energy to take care of myself. My father-in-law lives with us, so I had to be quarantine. I am so thankful he didn’t get it. The family and I finally went to Apple Hill. We had never gone before and have always heard so much about it. It was nice and we enjoyed ourselves. I have gotten to spend time with many family members. My husband and I have been making rounds and trying to attend more family functions. We kept our kids busy with sports and whatever else we could put them in. That meant we hardly had a life and got to go anywhere that didn’t deal with the kids and their events. Now our youngest is 18 and working. We are done for the most part. The hubby surprised me and drove me to Tahoe this past weekend. We got a condo on the lake and just stayed for one night. We saw a movie and walked our favorite spots. My mom owned a timeshare and we used to always go with her to use it. My kids love the memories of us staying in my mom’s timeshare and walking Tahoe. For them, it is our family tradition. I love that they see it that way. When we went earlier this year, my daughter wanted us to go to our normal walking areas so she could show her husband. Even Vj took his girlfriend on a trip and took her to our usual spots so he could show her. It warms my heart to see this. I know that as long as my kids live in California they will take trips to Tahoe, Carson City, and Neveda so that they can share the places we have always taken them to. Places my mom took us. I walked the streets of Virgina City with my mom and dad as a little girl. Now I walk them with my husband, kids, and my grandkids. I need to get Alexis up there. Her time will come. Life is good. It isn’t perfect, but I am blessed each day I open my eyes and get to see another blue sky. The holidays are here so the rest of this year is about to fly by. I pray for peace for all the countries that are at war. I pray for our homeless people. It breaks my heart to see how worse it keeps getting, I pray for all those that are sick and suffering for any reason. I pray for our politicians to make decisions that are right and just for the people. I am thankful to God for each day he has given me and for all the blessings he has bestowed upon me and my family. I pray for my family and friends. 🙏🏼
October 2, 2023 – Tomorrow is my six-month routine scan. I am trying to avoid stressing all night. I lost my uncle Jimmy last week. It was unexpected. I had 5 uncles and 3 aunts on my dad’s side. Now I only have 1 uncle and 2 aunts. It hurts. 💔I feel like I lose a piece of my dad when I lose them. I had to put my German Shepherd down two days after losing my uncle. My heart has been breaking so bad because last week was too much. I prayed for strength. My way to mourn is to clean. I cleaned all my blinds, mopped, etc. I did some retail therapy and bought some stuff for the house to change it up a bit. I needed a distraction. Every time I sat down, I would start to cry. I got up all my Shepard’s stuff. Some went to storage and some I may donate. My chihuahua is getting spoiled. I spent time with my cousin Cherie. That was a good distraction. My family is hurting right now and all I can do is pray for strength. All of my uncles were always funny. They kept us laughing. My uncle Jimmy was cool and laid back. He loved to wear white and never got it dirty. He spoke his mind. Rest in peace uncle Jimmy. I am told not to stress because it can weaken the immune system. I am praying the stress I have done is not going to lead to a bad CT scan tomorrow. I lost my uncle, then I lost my dog to cancer (of all things), and now I have my routine scan to see if I’m still on a “chemo holiday” (remission in my opinion). Lord I am praying for strength to not stress and to get through the night. I pray that whatever the results are tomorrow, I will have the strength to accept them. I pray for good news and to remain in remission. 🙏🏼 Amen
May 31, 2023 – I am currently enjoying the views in Genoa, Nevada. My family and I have a timeshare and are spending a week enjoying the Tahoe area. My kids have always loved nature and going on hikes. I love seeing the kids spend time together going on their walks or playing games. A bobcat ran passed us the other night and we have seen some deer. It is peaceful and quiet and makes us question if we want to leave California for this. 😊 I just don’t like the idea of living where it snows. 😝 For now I’m enjoying waking up and having my coffee while listening to birds chirping, the frogs, the ducks, and more. I have been thanking God every day for these moments. The grand baby was here for three days and I got to play with her. She is growing so fast. We go home Friday and then we have my youngest son’s graduation party on Saturday. He graduated from high school last week and we are so proud of him. He starts his new job on Monday and will start college in the fall. All the kids are doing so well. I’m enjoying watching them find their way as adults. It feels like it all has come full circle and I’m thankful to still be here to witness it all. Thank you God. 🙏🏼🥰💜.
April 6, 2023 – I had my scan yesterday and woke up to my results today. I am still NED!!! I am so relieved. I had to work to keep my mind sane this past week and especially the past few days. I had moments of such high anxiety and had so much anticipation of the results that I just wanted to scream and cry. People say think positive and breathe. Waiting to see if I have to put chemo back into this body was maddening. I am thankful and I feel blessed. This Sunday, April 9th, makes two years since my last chemo treatment. I truly am relieved and thankful. Thank you God. 🙏🏼
March 31, 2023 – I scan in four days. My anxiety was so high this past Monday. I threw myself into work during the entire week. It was a good distraction. I hope I will be able to relax this weekend. We shall see. Scanxiety sucks. 🙏🏼
January 29, 2023 – Happy New Year. As soon as the year rolled in I made and went to several doctor appointments. I hate being in and out at work but I need to get answers. I had another Endoscopy last Thursday. I don’t remember talking to the GI doctor after the procedure. She spoke to my husband and said she did not see anything and that they took tissue samples from my stomach and small intestines. I’ll have results in two weeks. They are checking for bacteria and Celiac Disease. I don’t think I have Celiac. They tested my blood for that a few years ago and I didn’t have it. I have a follow up video appointment with the GI doctor on Tuesday so I hope to get more information. I feel week and nauseous still. Appetite is lacking. My TSH is low. I looked the symptoms for that up. Hyperthyroidism is a possibility. I don’t want that. They thought I had that in 2000 and told me I would have to drink some radioactive stuff. They had me stop my birth control for three months and my TSH went back in the normal range. I looked over my labs for my A1C and I had it tested this month, 3/2022, 7/2021, and it was low each time. A lot of the symptoms I have been having and associating as post chemo symptoms may not be from chemo. It could be my TSH. I feel lousy right now. Sitting is the easiest thing to do. My doctor wants me to wait 2-4 weeks and then have my TSH, T3, and T4 tested. I hope this gives me some answers. I really don’t want another diagnosis. But I really want to have more energy to do more than just make it to work and sit at a desk. I want energy to walk my dogs, ride my bike, and to stand and cook dinner. Now I use my scooter to take my little dog for walks. My younger son is walking the bigger dog for me. I am trying to be positive and patient while I wait on these doctors to help me figure out why I feel so crappy all the time. I am not going to give up until I have an answer. In the meantime, I am thankful I have a job that I sit at a desk for. My weak body couldn’t handle a physical job. I am thankful my kids are grown because I can’t imagine raising them while on chemo or going through any of the things I have and am right now. I look back and remember dance classes, sports, church, working full-time, cooking dinner on workdays and weekends, cleaning house, etc. I want that type of energy back. At least just enough to cook dinner after work and clean without feeling sick. 🥰 It will happen or I will find a way to adapt. I already have a chair on wheels in my Amazon wishlist that is high enough to reach the countertop so I can wheel myself around the kitchen to cook. Where there is a will, there is a way and I will find it. I am practicing patients. That is my way of adapting. ❤️
December 29, 2022 – It has been a busy holiday season. My baby girl got married in October. It was a beautiful wedding. My grand baby is getting big and is so adorable. My youngest turned 18. Our older daughter got a promotion. It has truly been a blessing to be here for all of this. Unfortunately I have been battling nausea more and more. It is so frustrating and annoying. It hits me out of no where at any time of the day. It disrupts my day all day. Last month I threw up for over 12 hours. I was hoping food poisoning and just figured I had to get passed 10 hours like I did when I had it before. By the 12th hour I called advice and was told to go to the ER because I’m high risk. I did and they gave me something in an IV that stopped the nausea and I got to go home. I was and am still hoping it was just a flu bug. No test were ran for the flu. I wish they had. I threw up a few nights ago and then yesterday at work. Most of the time it’s just nausea. Sometimes I can’t get it to stop and other times it turns into more than nausea. That is what is making me angry. I want to control this. I just can’t seem to find the solution. I know the answer is in my diet. I just have to figure this out. I get so tired of eating chicken and fish every night with vegetables. The holidays have proven I have to stick with that diet for the sake of my gut. I emailed my oncologists so she knows and to see what she recommends. I am due for an Endoscopy in January. Praying this won’t give me any bad news. 🙏🏼 June 15, 2018 I was told I had 13-15 months to live. I asked God for five more years and to let me be here to see my youngest graduate. All I cared about that day was seeing my kids through to a comfort point to where I felt they would be okay in life without me. In 2018 five years later was 2023. As we approach the new year of 2023 I have so much anxiety. I know it sounds stupid but I wonder what if this is it. I asked for five more years and it seems I will get that. Will I get more? I should be just thankful for what I have gotten. I truly am. Every day I have opened my eyes has been a blessing. Even the days that I may have gotten angry or cried over something. Each day counts and has mattered. I continue to ground myself and make sure I enjoy moments of calmness and stillness. I love nature and I can sit for hours just looking at trees and skies. It’s rainy and grey these days but we get a nice blue sky in between rainy and foggy days. On those days, things look so blue. I can’t wait until spring. I love fall and winter because of the holidays. I absolutely love spring because of the newness of everything. I always feel the happiest emotionally in spring. As the flowers and trees bloom, I feel happy on the inside. It makes me want to sit in my backyard and just watch the trees and the birds. My aunt had a house in San Leandro and I used to love to sit outside on the stairs. Those houses had patios you could sit and enjoy. Some of my favorite memories are sitting with my grandpa on that patio. I would read a book and he would listen to music. I usually played the O’jays or Al Green for him when I was with him. I still sit and listen to music or read or just sit in silence. Another spring is approaching and I can’t wait. I told myself to stop being so anxious about the future and what is going to happen. My mind goes to the worse scenarios. Instead I want to focus on the present and if I do think about the future, I am going to picture spring of 2023 and imagine myself sitting in my backyard or at my spot by the water. I need to find a way to get these thoughts to change and to stop stressing me out. Trying not to go mad with worry. It isn’t easy. I pray every day for strength. I need so much if it right now. My body feels weak and like it’s getting away from me. Don’t know if that even makes sense to anyone else other than myself. Just trying to hang in there. 😊
October 17, 2022 – I spoke to my Kaiser Oncologist today and went over my CT scan from 10/1 and my Endoscopy results from 9/8. My scan was clear!!! I am still NED. I have gone 17 months without chemo! I am happy and I feel so blessed. She said I am doing everything right and to keep doing what I am doing. I met with my new COC Oncologist on 10/9 and did not care for him. He doubled my Mebendazole dosage and told me to take it every day and not to cycle it with the Doxycycline. He also wanted me to take the Doxy twice a day instead of once a day. I asked him why he was upping my medication especially with me doing so well. He asked me “would you rather wait until the cancer returned and then start increasing it?”. The result to this is, my COC meds are remaining what they were before he came onto the scene, and he will no longer be my doctor at the COC. I had Dr. Meakin from 8/2019 – 4/2022. I was told he was on a Sabbatical. I miss him so much. I had a lady doctor in July, but they said she is gone. Then I had this doctor and was not impressed. I was impressed with his education and background, but not his bedside manner. With the increase in medication my cost for my COC meds went from $180 to $290. I am thankful they were able to put it back the way it was and assign me to another doctor. I hope when I meet this one in January, that I will like her. My cat of 11 years passed away last week. My heart is aching for her so much. I miss her meowing and her just being there. She was a good cat and if you are a cat owner you know that they all come with their own personalities. This one didn’t scratch the furniture and she was just good. She comforted me when I had chemo. She got along with my dogs. Her name was Lonely. We rescued her and 5 of her siblings in 2011. Someone abandoned them on the trail by my house when they were 3-4 weeks old. My kids and I bottled fed them, taught them how to clean themselves, and how to use the litter box. I remember having bowls of hot water with wash clothes ready so that when they were done eating, I could use the warm towels to mimic the tongue of their mother to clean their face and paws until their own instincts kicked in to do it themselves. These are tips I got from other rescue homes. I bathed them every night with Dawn dish soap to kill fleas so that they would not become anemic. I was on a mission to get them to two pounds by the time they were two months, and I did. Four were adopted out and we kept two. Now we have lost Lonely and we only have Gizmo who is my son’s cat. I have not been without a cat of my own in years and it is breaking my heart. I have my dogs still so that helps. Anyhow, I will stop talking about my cat. I just miss her. My oncologist told me I can have one cup of coffee a day, so I am looking forward to that. I might play it safe and just wait until I have my next Endoscopy. Not sure. I miss coffee. I have adjusted to drinking tea and like the Black Earl Grey tea and the Marshmallow Root. Some good news, my daughter is getting married next Tuesday. I am so excited to see my baby girl finally say “I Do” to her best friend. I told my Oncologist today that I got to see my older son and his wife have their first child and now I will get to see my daughter get married. The next big event that I have been fighting this damn cancer so hard for will be in May 2023 when my baby boy walks that stage. I have made it my mission since the day I was told I had 13-15 months to live to make it to that day. I was so nervous I would not be here for my baby throughout his high school years, and I have been. Thank you, God, so much for hearing my prayers that day. Words can’t express how grateful I feel.
September 28, 2022 – I received the biopsy results from my Endoscopy last week. The good news is there isn’t any cancer in my stomach. I do have some chronic inflammation in my stomach. They want to keep an eye on it and want me to have another Endoscopy in 3-4 months. That makes me nervous, but I am glad they are keeping an eye on it. I haven’t had any coffee since 9/2. I now drink tea. I was drinking the Black Tea but, in my research, saw that it has acid in it so I stopped that as well. I am getting used to Marshmallow Leaf Root tea. So far it is a winner. I lost a fellow cancer warrior yesterday. That was hard. I want us all to survive. I am thankful to be here, but I feel guilty at the same time because like I said, I want us to all to survive. I know I can’t question God’s plan. I am praying for strength for her family right now. Tomorrow isn’t promised for any of us, but when you are battling a disease that can take you down, you know for sure it may not be promised for you. Sometimes it’s like being a ticking time bomb and waiting for your turn. I know that isn’t thinking positive, but right now it is kind of tough. I am praying for my own strength right now as well. I have a CT scan this Saturday. I am usually not myself when I know I am about to scan. Scanxietey!!!! I will get through this.
September 9, 2022 – It’s been awhile since I have updated. I have been crazy busy working and have been lucky to have a day off. Anyhow, a week ago I started feeling the spasms in my chest that sent me to the hospital four years ago to be diagnosed with cancer. Needless to say, I was scared. I realized I was on my third bottle of antacid this year and I normally don’t even finish one bottle. I think it’s been the coffee. Yes, I have been bad and drinking coffee like crazy to make it through the day at work. I beat myself up so bad last weekend. I try to cut back on coffee and I just suck at it so I quit it drinking it all together. I called Oncology and asked to move my CT scan up because of the spasms. My Oncologist had me do another Endoscopy instead. I went in yesterday. I cried the night before as I worried I would lost my NED status. I just knew they would go in and see my tumor and tell me it was active again and spreading. While being prepped for the procedure, I joked and said “I know I am not here for this, but can you tell the doctor that when they see my tumor, feel free to take it out. I am sick of it being on my scans”. It was meant to be a joke. Yet I started crying as I said the words because truthfully that is what I wished for. I spent the night before the procedure going through all of the emotions. Crying my eyes out worried I would have to start chemo again. I prayed to God for a miracle. I asked him to remove my tumor and take it away. I begged and cried. Then I stopped crying and prayed for the strength to handle whatever was discovered. I woke up from the procedure on my own this time. If you have read my blog you know that the first time I had this procedure, they didn’t wait for me to wake up on my own. They woke me to give me the bad news. This time I woke on my own and got news I was hoping for but never thought I would ever hear. They did not see my original tumor or any new ones. There is some redness on the lining of my stomach. I also have a hiatal hernia. They took tissue samples and are sending them out for biopsy. I should have those results in two weeks. I was alarmed but they assured me that the tissue samples did not look like cancer to them and instead look like bacteria. They asked me if I have ever had H-Pylori and I said no. I know have been tested for it but it was negative. Needless to say, I am in shock. I am still absorbing this. I can’t believe it. No tumor. It’s like a miracle. God heard my prayer and those praying for me and answered it. I feel so blessed and I am very thankful. I feel more hope than I have ever felt. I have had hope, but now it is so much stronger. Thank you God. I give you all the praise. I will feel more relieved once I get the biopsy results. For now I am going to live in this moment!!!
July 17, 2022 – Today we celebrated my cousin’s birthday. I got together with family and friends at the park and then went roller skating. I haven’t skated in years. I used to take my kids to the skating rink a lot when they were younger. I was nervous to get out there because of the neuropathy in my feet. I loved roller skating as a kid and I just had to try. I am proud to say that I did not fall down and I was able to get back into my old grove as safely as I could. My feet feel numb so I was nervous about the skates. I warmed up and was able to go around more times than I can count. Later, when we were heading home my husband asked me if I wanted the windows on the car up or down. I said down. We road with the night wind flowing through the car. It was the perfect summer night. I started the day sad and feeling stressed. I am glad I was able to let lose and have fun. I got to laugh with my girls and make new memories. I feel so rejuvenated. I needed today. I am up way past my bedtime. Tonight was a reminder that I need to stop and take more time enjoying things. I can’t forget the lessons I have learned the last four years or I will be right back where I was. Thank you God for days like today. I appreciate them and feel extremely blessed. ❤️
June 11, 2022 – Today is my four year cancer anniversary. I feel so excited to say that. Did I think I would make it this far? I don’t know. I have been so afraid to look farther than 3 months. I called to schedule my 3 month routine CT scan in July. They told me my Oncologist had me down to scan in October. That will be 6 months instead of 3 this time. I have never done that. I think that is how patients in remission are done. I am assuming I was switched from being monitored every three months to 6 since I went a year without chemo and was fine. They are still using the words chemo holiday in my file instead of remission. 😫 Why that makes a difference to me I cannot explain. I just cringe when I see the words chemo holiday instead of remission. I think it’s because they said I couldn’t go into remission or be cured at stage 4. I want so badly to prove them wrong and see those words remission. 😂. I am so excited and happy. One more year to go to be in the 5% category. My job is going really well and I am loving it. It is getting busier but it’s a good busy. I received a promotion last month from Manager to Director of Payroll! I work with a great team and I love what I do. My husband and I are planning a baby shower for our older son and his wife. We are having another granddaughter. It will be our son’s first. I’m so excited to see him as a daddy. He is going to make a great father. His wife is going to be a wonderful mommy. I can’t wait to hold this baby. My daughter is getting married this October. It’s a year of amazing things and I want to appreciate every second of it. 💜
April 9, 2022 – Today makes one year since my last chemo treatment. Kaiser won’t call it remission. They call it a chemo holiday. Well, here’s to a long extended holiday. I will call it remission. Idc if Kaiser won’t. Happy Saturday
March 22, 2022 – I usually update when I have scans. I am trying to update more often. I read that Nightbirde from American Idol passed away and I broke down. It’s weird to cry for someone I don’t know. I had started to follow her on Instagram and liked listening to her post. I could relate to some of the things she said. I don’t know if any other cancer warriors were following her and rooting for her. I sure was. She said 2% is a lot. My number is 5%. It is so damn hard not to be scared. It is so hard to be positive all of the time. It is so hard to try to avoid any negative emotions when you worry your number can be called any day. There is a 5% chance I will survive beyond 5 years. That means there is a 95% chance that I won’t. This June is year 4. That gives me one more year. I do allow myself to feel the negative emotions. I have to. I can’t keep them bottled up or I will lose it. I have my 1-5 minute cry. I just make sure I pray every time I allow myself to get angry or sad. I pray for God to ease my pain, to take it away, or to give me the strength not to be so mad. I breathe in and out while praying. It seems to help. When that doesn’t help, I work out because that makes me feel better. Must be the endorphins. 🙂 I also took some time last Friday to go sit at my favorite spot by this lake in my city. I love to watch the ducks swim. It is so peaceful. I even saw a beaver this time and got a fish flipping out of the water on video. That is therapy for me. Yes, we can feel those negative emotions, we just can’t allow ourselves to be consumed by them. Easier said then done as I count down the days to my next scan on April 3rd. I am praying for this scan to be clear. One year without chemo. Let’s do this!!! I will be spending a lot of time at my lake until April 3rd to stay sane.
March 11, 2022 – I scheduled my next CT scan for April 3rd. The countdown begins. For the past three days I have been waking up around 3:30-4:00 am again. I go through this every time scan time comes around. For the past week the bottom of my right eye has also been twitching. I don’t feel stress but I know I must be. I decided to meditate this morning since I was up so early. I even had time to brush some of my German Shepard’s winter coat out. Now I am trying to make it through the day. Waking up that early makes it hard to get through the day. I just hope I don’t do this until April 3rd. Hopefully meditating will help. Scanxiety sucks! This one is a big deal. I will have been off of chemo for one year and no one with my cancer (at my hospital) has done that. The only other person like me was off for three months and it had spread during that time. I wish I could talk to this person and see what protocols they are on. I wish I knew how they were doing now. I never considered giving Kaiser permission to give my information to the patient to see if they would be willing to exchange information. I will definitely have to see if I can do that. Some times I feel like my days are numbered. I try not to cry while even typing that. Scan time is the only time it is really hard for me not to be scared and to try and stay positive. However, I know the stress is not good for me so I will be meditating and trying to utilize every tool I learned in therapy to keep my mind and body at ease. Stress = Cortisol = Inflammation = more disease (cancer). I have received that message loud and clear for the past three years. Time to relax.
February 21, 2022 – It has been awhile since I have updated. I apologize to those that read my blog. I started my new job last October and so far I am loving it. We are about to get really busy but it will be a fun busy. I hope!!! My new coworkers are great. I had a little scare with some pain around my spine last December so my Kaiser Oncologist brought me in for a Pet Scan. Thankfully the scan was all clear. I have Scoliosis so I am use to having back issues. It just sucks not knowing if I should rule it out as back pain. I worry that if I do that I will regret my decision later because I may find out it is cancer. Symptoms of Esophageal cancer can be the same symptoms for Covid, the flu, Asthma, allergies, etc. How do I know the difference? I’ve decided to just trust my gut and intuition. I am reading the book called “Radical Hope” by Kelly Turner. She also wrote the book “Radical Remission” which I read back in 2019. Both are really great books and I highly recommend them to anyone fighting cancer. I actually feel these books can be for anyone and not just people fighting cancer. “Radical Hope” has a section on intuition. I actually was annoyed by how long this section was and had to quickly check myself to be more positive and try to get through it. I am glad I did. I feel better about my decision to just follow my instincts and listen to my body. I am sure my body and my “inner wisdom” will tell me to go get checked when I need to. Living with uncertainty every day can make a person have anxiety. I try so hard to find ways to avoid anxiety or any kind of negative emotion. I will scan again in April. My Kaiser Oncologist told me in December “this is a great scan, but it is not like this cancer to behave this way. Eventually it will start spreading. When it does it won’t be because of anything you did or anything you didn’t do. I don’t want you to blame yourself. It will be because that is what this cancer does. When that happens we will put you on Immunotherapy to give you more time”. I was so put off by that. I haven’t had a chemo treatment since 4/9/2021. I am doing so well. She insist there is still a tumor in my esophagus. I asked her why the tumor wasn’t listed on the Pet Scan report. She just said that it is just hanging out there. My COC Oncologist told me last May that it is not unusual to see something at the original site. It is more than likely my dead tumor that Kaiser refuses to take out since I was stage 4. I get my Kaiser Oncologist position, I just don’t like it when she says things like that. It is discouraging and makes a person consider giving up. I told myself I will do everything I can between now and the next scan to try and make sure that scan is a good scan. I will be very disciplined and be sure to follow my protocol every day. The big issue has been food. I think I now have it under control. I am back to two smoothies a day, eating 2-3 solid meals, and tracking my calories to make sure I am getting enough nutrition every day. I meal plan so I don’t mess up. For the past 11 days I have taken in a minimum of 2400 calories per day. This is a big deal because for the past year I had been eating an average of 800-900 calories per day. I also had Covid last month and got through it without having to go to the hospital. I lost more weight because of Covid, but managed to get it back. I lost two fellow cancer warriors this month. It hurt and it scares me. I just keep telling myself my story will be different and yet I feel guilty even thinking that because I wanted them to survive too! Worrying about being next is not a good feeling. However, I tell myself I have to stay positive and so I shall. I have a grandchild on the way this September. I can’t go anywhere.
October 20, 2021 – I had a CT scan this past Sunday. I wasn’t due for another scan until November 1st. I asked to move the scan date up because I accepted a new job offer. I just wanted to make sure I’m still all clear. Each scan I hold my breath just waiting to see if this is going to be the one to revoke my NED status. I’m happy to say I’m still NED!!! My Oncologist said it is an excellent scan. I’m still amazed that I am doing so well. I feel extremely blessed and I still ask God every day to continue to show me my purpose so that I can continue to do it. I am still not sure what my purpose is. Are any of us? I hope my story helps others. I hope it gives those that struggle with cancer or any awful disease hope. Hope is so important to me. It goes along with my faith. I figure whatever my purpose is I must be doing it because God has been keeping me around longer than I expected. I only hope and pray I continue to be needed for a very long time. 😍 I’m just not ready to go. 😊 I will be starting my new job soon and this is definitely going to be an adventure. I’m going back into management. Praying I still have what it takes. Chemo did a number on this brain of mine. I feel more like my old self more and more each day. I don’t ever want to forget these last three years. If I am truly lucky and I get to live to be an old woman, I want to always remember the lessons I learned after I got diagnosed. One of the biggest was learning to let things go and learning to ask and accept help from others. To give you an idea of my obsessiveness, I have learned to not worry if the bed is always made every day and even have skipped laundry for a week a couple of times. I miss having energy to clean like I use to. My being able to skip these things actually gives me some relief. My husband and I have agreed to hire a maid to keep the house clean. Work takes most of my energy and this new job is about to take it all. The trade off will be a maid so I’m happy. ❤️
September 5, 2021 – I had my third Covid vaccine last Tuesday. I had a severe headache for two days, broke out with hives, and I had horrible neck and shoulder pain. They also offered me the flu vaccine but after my experience with that last year, and now my response to my third dose of the Covid vaccine, I am really skeptical about getting vaccines (for myself). Sucks because I never had issues before. I will have to think long and hard before risking the flu vaccine. I hate being in this position. I finally went skydiving on 8/21/21. It was awesome. I had trouble breathing while up in the air and missed pulling my own parachute. My trainer pulled it for me and I was able to take over from there. My landing was perfect. I got a little close to the power lines but thankfully I missed them. I absolutely loved it and hope to do it again next year. Hopefully I can post the video here. If not I’ll add it to my photo section. My clarity in thinking is also returning and my COC Oncologist said it will only get better. I cried when I first realized my clarity was back. It’s like my old self has been buried inside of me under a fog or cloud and now she is emerging. The sky is a clear blue and the clouds are moving out of the way. That’s how I can best describe how I my brain feels. I cried because I was so happy to finally feel normal. At least normal in that department. I went to Sac Anime with my son and his friends yesterday. I was on my feet without my scooter for too many hours. My feet swelled up. I clearly need to take my scooter if I plan to be on me feet for more than a couple of hours. As much as I don’t like using the scooter I’m thankful I have it so I can continue to participate in events such as the one we went to yesterday. I just hate how people stare. I told my husband that I will try to be positive about it and be thankful that I can last a couple of hours on my feet because two years ago I couldn’t last more than 20 minutes. I remember I couldn’t even walk outside and around the neighborhood on my breaks at work because I couldn’t trust my feet to last. I started to walk inside of the halls at work just so I could continue to walk. That was 2018-2019. Such dark times in my book. I struggled and pushed myself and would count how many times I could round those halls. I made myself go around 20 times for each break. My feet would scream at me but I was so pissed off about my limitations I pushed. I knew as long as I was in the hall, if I fell I could at least call for help. Before chemo I walked all around the neighborhood around my job. I love the trees around there. I would put my earphones in and I would walk all over on my lunch. Then chemo shut that down. I am thankful to be able to walk with my coworkers again and to be able to walk outside. Despite knowing I will still be needing a scooter, I will focus on all the positive accomplishments I have made these passed few years and look forward to making more. Accomplishment – I can last more than 20 minutes and up to a couple of hours on my feet. Therefore I don’t need the scooter as much. That’s my takeaway ❤️❤️❤️
August 7, 2021 – I had my first routine scan today after being off of chemo since April 9, 2021. The report was emailed to me within a couple of hours and I am happy to say that I am still NED!!! I was nervous all week and even had a breakdown Thursday night. I have three more months until my next scan. I have scheduled my skydiving class for 8/21/21. I’m taking a class that will allow me to jump by myself on my first jump. I can’t wait. I’m still struggling with my weight but have decided to not focus on the scale too much. Instead I am going back to the gym and drinking two smoothies a day rather than one. I am getting one meal of solid food in a day. I need to get three in. That will be this weeks goal. Trying some new routines to see if that will help me eat better. Other than that I have just been doing home projects around my house. I did my own landscaping on my front yard for the first time and I was so proud of myself. It hurt to bend over for a couple of days but it was worth it. I don’t usually like dirt so this was a big accomplishment for me. For the past five years I have tried to tackle fears that have prevented me from doing things I wanted to do. Dirt and bugs kept me out of my yard. 🤣 Sharks keep me out of water I can’t see the bottom of. I swam across a lake in 2017. My kids were shocked when they saw I swam over to the island they swam out to. I was proud of myself. I started back to work this week after being off for two months. It was good to be back and it kept me busy so I didn’t sit around thinking about today’s scan. I am happy and I feel blessed. I won’t lie. I do worry that this will come to an end. I pray and hope not. For now I will take my victory and go celebrate tonight. 😍❤️
July 7, 2021 – I just added the picture of the infrared sauna that I have been using. My Oncologist at the COC has been encouraging me to get one for home. I finally did and I love it. Actually, I don’t like sitting in them and heating up, but I do enjoy how I feel after I use it. I am still using the wet sauna. I am using the infrared sauna twice a week for fifteen minutes and the wet sauce twice a week for ten minutes. I have added a picture of the infrared sauna I use. I got it from Therasage 360. I chose this one because not only did it come recommended by my COC Oncologist, but it also has low EMF emissions!!! I have also been having a great results working with a Hypnotherapist for my eating issues. I manage to put on six pounds. I still would like to gain five more. I don’t have danger signals going off when I look at food anymore and I don’t feel so stressed about eating. I am exploring different meal options. I bought Tofu for the fist time. I plan to try a recipe out in the Air Fryer. I have come up with some smoothie recipes that are high in calories and healthy!!! The best part is just actually feeling hungry and enjoying eating food again. It feels so good. I have been wanting to add a link to my testimonial I did for the COC. I put the link in my link section. I will also put it here. https://youtu.be/Gw890guSidE. A little over a year ago they asked me to write a three minute testimonial to represent Adenocarcinoma. I hope mine and others inspire others to hold onto hope. There are other options and I am thankful for each and every one of them.
June 11, 2021 – Today is my three year anniversary. Three years ago today is when I got the call that changed my life forever. It is an anniversary that I wish I didn’t need to brag about, but I will because I am blessed to still be here. Unfortunately I may have developed Cachexia. I lost ten pounds in two months. My therapist says I have an eating disorder. I see food and I immediately categorize it into categories of carbs, sugars, dairy = inflammation = more cancer!!! I have been starving myself for the past year and a half and have only been eating enough to get by. I decided to take some time off from work so that I can see if I can put my weight back on. My Oncologist told me that Cachexia is a clinical diagnosis and there isn’t a test to give me to make sure I have it. She said if I can gain weight, I won’t get the diagnosis. I don’t like what I have read about Cachexia so I am going to prove I don’t have it. I won’t lie, I am nervous and scared. I have upped my therapy sessions to once a week and I will also be trying Hypnotherapy to see if I can clear this mental block I’ve created with food. I did a search for Cachexia in Joe Tippen’s “mycancerstoryrocks” group and I saw some people comments on things they have tried to battle Cachexia. I will do like I did in 2019 and pour through everything I can find. I am going to focus on relaxing, meditating, trying new foods to see what I like now (chemo changed up my taste buds), and try to get rid of this mental block I have created with food. I was working out with a trainer at the gym to help me build muscle, but my husband and I agreed today that I will postpone my workouts for one month and focus on therapy and eating. My trainer and the dietitian at the hospital do not think I have Cachexia and instead think I am malnourished. My trainer said she can still see muscle on me. I pray that they both are right.
May 14, 2021 – I had a Mammogram, Pet Scan, and a brain/back MRI over the past week. I received my results yesterday. All clear!!! I did two chemo treatments in January and stopped them in February and March so I could get my COVID vaccines. I had chemo on April 9th and had a horrible week of side effects. I said no more. I can’t keep putting chemo into my body and going through this until I physically see cancer on a scan. I know they say you can’t go into remission or be cured of this kind of cancer at stage 4 and the best I can hope for is NED. Well, I truly am praying after being NED for two years that I can stay off of chemo. I know it’s a risk but I have to take it. I want so badly to change the statistical outcome of this disease for myself and anyone that gets effected by it. I met a man on the plane last night and his name was Steven. Something told me to tell him my results and I’m glad I did. I just tapped him and said “guess what, I’m in remission”. I know my Oncologist won’t use those words but I will. I will claim it and shout it to anyone willing to listen because I have been to hell and back over and over again and I know my journey ahead may still have more battles I will need to fight but I will take this victory and enjoy every second of it. Steven told me about his esophagus problems. Fortunately for him they have been treating it but he hasn’t been seen in awhile. I told him about Barrett’s and the risk of cancer. I know it sucks to scare people but cancer sucks more. Early detection is key and preventive measures can be put in place to try and keep from getting this. To try!!! At least we can try. Anyhow I pray he and no one gets cancer. I know I can’t stop it. Breaks my heart. I truly wish people didn’t have to suffer. Anyhow, I am officially off of chemo. I will be scanned every three months and do labs monthly. If or when (those that know me know I hate to only use “when”, because remember “when” writes me off and “if” gives me hope) we see cancer on a scan, we will start me back on chemo. Until then I will continue to live in these three months increments. Cancer patients understand what I mean by that. Glory to God. Hallelujah and praise Jesus because I truly believe my faith is what has kept me going.
February 11, 2021 – I had one of my routine CT scans this morning. I got the report emailed to me. I have a spreadsheet where I list all my scans and their results. I like to do a side-by-side comparison from day one up until now. I’m happy to say I am still NED!!! I cried in the parking lot before going in for the scan. I cried when I read the report. This up and down roller coaster is maddening. I get so anxious (scanaxiety) a week or two before every scan. I don’t think that feeling of dread will ever go away. I told my cousin today it’s literally waiting to see if I am dying. How does one stay sane going through that every three months!!! I meditate, pray, pray, pray, and keep asking God to just give me a purpose to stick around and I’ll do it. Last night when I said my prayer I told God “I don’t want to die but I am tired of this fight. I’m willing to keep fighting if you keep giving me a purpose. I know you give us what we need and not what we want and that we can’t question you. I know I want to live but if you feel I am not needed anymore then I accept your decision”. I put my meditation playlist on and I felt peace. I feel asleep fast and I usually have trouble sleeping the night before a scan. Not this time. I’ll always have fear. Yet I seem to find peace in my faith in just believing that if I’m here it’s because I have a purpose and when that purpose ends so will my time here. I am not in control of this. All I can do is be grateful for every day I open my eyes and have another chance to fulfill my purpose. Another chance to enjoy this life I’ve been given after I had taken so much of it for granted. I’m a work in progress. I’m basically getting back to me. I have started reading again. I love to read. I don’t get anything done because once I start a book my attention is completely overtaken by the book. I am walking my dogs by myself again and they are behaving beautifully around other dogs. They even ignore ducks. I have started trying to spend time with family members and friends (safely) and to try and stay in touch with people. Working and fighting cancer is like working two full time jobs. This pandemic hasn’t made it easy either. I was just working on getting my introverted self out of the house when the world shut down around me. I remember having neuropathy pain so bad in my feet that dancing was impossible. I don’t have much rhythm but I still love to dance. A friend came into town for her birthday and me and all my girls got together for her birthday. I danced all night. We had so much fun. I cried later because I remember thinking I would never get to dance again. I felt so free that night. I hold onto that. Every day there is going to be some bad news. I give it a few minutes, toss it up to God, and I focus on all the positive things around me.
January 11, 2021 – Happy New Years!!! I had chemo treatment #49 on 1/6/21. I hate chemo as I am sure anyone that gets it does. The week after is the worse. The nausea and pain is annoying. I know it could be a lot worse. I just hate knowingly making myself sick every three weeks. This is one week I wish I could just stay in bed for. I’ll get through it like I always do. I just feel so down and depressed during this week. I always have to find ways to smile. My back started hurting on Saturday. Turns out it is swollen along my spine. Checked it today, and it is still swollen. I am nervous because I know my cancer was in a lymph node located next to the spine. I am worried, but going to try hard not to think about it. That is the way it is when you have cancer. Any problem you have you worry it’s “the cancer“. I want to make two bucket list this year. One that has things I can do during a shelter-in-place and one with things I can do if the world ever opens back up. I will only look at list that is applicable to my counties current status. This way I don’t spend the year staring at a list that contains things I can’t do. The past couple of years have been tough. I’m tired. I’m just tired of it all. What emotion hurts the most? Anger or sadness. Either way I see they are both negative emotions and I don’t like to feel them. Yet I have to fight through every day to keep them from taking over. Even more so the week after chemo and the day before. I’m a whining baby today. I am just really feeling it.
December 4, 2020 – Hello. It’s been awhile. I had my last scan 11/2/20 and I’m still “stable” or NED. This December makes one year since I started getting my chemo treatments every three weeks instead of every two. My quality of life has greatly improved. I still battle with muscle weakness, on and off bouts of nausea, neuropathy pain, and of course appetite issues. Appetite is my number one problem. I am still struggling to eat solid foods. It’s not that I don’t want to. I just don’t usually feel hungry. This entire year has been good and bad. Good in that I felt grounded and more at peace than I did in 2019. I have been feeling more hopeful, positive, and focused. My neuropathy has improved. I can walk and stand longer. My hair is even growing back. The bad part for me has been putting my bucket list on hold. I was supposed to go to Las Vegas this month to celebrate my birthday with my bestie. COVID has shut that down. I wasn’t going to gamble. My bestie lives out there and I just wanted to curl up in some warm pajamas, drink hot cocoa and maybe a few shots of tequila (already cleared the tequila through my Oncologist. He said no to margaritas because of the sugar 😜) and watch some Sci-fi movies while we talked and laughed. I miss them. My other best friend was trying to meet us out there too. So now I’m disappointed, but I’m not giving up. I will just hold onto my faith that this too shall pass and I will get to take that trip as well as many others.
April 14, 2020 – It has been a while since I have been on here. Covid!!! It has benched me. I am on quarantine as many of us are because of my “underlying condition”. If I did not have this “underlying condition” I still would be at home because everyone but the managers got sent home. I some times wish I could work from home. In the mean time I have just been driving my husband and 15 year-old crazy because they are pretty much it for me of the people I get to see. One thing I did do that I am very proud of is I made a decision not to have chemo on 4/10. They called me and cancelled my 3/20 chemo and I was devastated and worried. I thought it over and realized it probably was best for my immune system not to have it. I then had a phone appointment on 4/9 and I ran my idea of skipping my April chemo so that I can keep my white blood cell count up in case I do get Covid. Since I have been stable for so long they agreed with me that I may be okay. I am supposed to have chemo on 5/1, but they are aware that I am planning to skip that one as well. I will have a Pet Scan in mid May and get the results on 5/22. I am praying that I will remain NED during this time of not having chemo. Am I nervous? I sure am. Especially since I have not had chemo since 2/28. I feel like I am playing Russian Roulette with my life. However, I have a strong feeling that I am going to be okay. Even if something shows up on my Pet next month I still feel like I will be okay. I told Oncology, if something shows up, we will hit it hard and go from there. I do have to say that I feel fortunate to be in a position to choose treatment or not. In the mean time I am getting ready to help my son finish up his freshman year through Distance Learning. I have been upset not being able to work because I was so excited to have returned to work. In due time I will be back. In the mean time my doctor said my main job is to keep taking care of me. They also said this “there isn’t any proof that all of what you are doing is working, but at this point we have to acknowledge something you are doing is working”. It felt so good to hear them say that. She told me to keep doing what I have been doing. Even asked me about the COC protocol and told me to make sure I keep on it and to keep taking all of my supplements. I sure will!!! I hope the rest of you are coping well. I have been praying for all of us.
February 29, 2020 – I just want to say I am touched by all of the people that have reached out to me. I tried to go in and respond to some of your emails. I am currently doing chemo right now so my energy level is real low. Give me a few days to pick back up and I will go in and respond to all of those that have sent me emails. 😘
February 16, 2020 – My first journal entry on my blog. I am still trying to figure out how to maneuver around Word Press. 🙂 For the most part I got most of what I have been wanting to share on here. I am sure I will continue to tweak it, make grammar changes etc., as the days pass. Happy Sunday!!!
Noel’s Battle with Cancer 